It started in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids.

[bondsoflove]

Characters: Sasuke, hallucinations ranging from younger versions of himself to amalgamations of people he loves, his horse, and you.
Open? Yes.
Where: The edge of the two-faced forest, out of sight of the shack.
When: midmorning, RD18
What: Insanity log!
Warnings: Not literal blood, but imagined blood and spoken of blood, and a lot of it. Talk of violence, torture, mental illness, self-victim-blaming, identity-splitting, psychosis... basically what you'd expect from Sasuke. There may be mentions of rape--please let me know if you would like to avoid this topic while threading.



The sun beat against his forehead, beads of sweat forming and clinging to his skin before soaking into his hairline. The grass was itchy through the tunic, and a little damp; the light made his eyes sting, but he couldn't turn his head in either direction without seeing the fury and hatred rolling off of all of them in tangible, visible waves.

"Are you listening to me?" The voice was high, raw with grief.

"No," Sasuke answered. The sky was almost as blue as Naruto's irises when he wasn't possessed by the nine-tailed fox's bloodlust.

"Pay attention." This one came from Sasuke's other side. Still high, but closer to the low growl he had now. "It's your fault. The least you can do is listen."

"Shut up." Sasuke pressed his forearm against his eyes, forcing himself into darkness. The ghosts of his mother and father took the opportunity to burn their faces into his mind's eye, features grotesque, twisted with rage. They held out their hands to him, and their fingers curled to claws, blood dripping from every pore in their skin.

He opened his eyes.

"It's your fault Mother and Father are dead." The first voice had a smug quality to it now, almost mocking. He turned to face himself, baby fat and his huge, dark eyes making him seem more innocent than what he was, a specter more real than Sasuke himself who hid behind shadows and followed him always, to remind him what he'd done wrong every time he came close to forgetting. The child's face twisted into an ugly scowl, and his eyes filled with tears that streamed down his fat cheeks.

"Everything is your fault!" Little Sasuke screamed.

Sasuke curled a fist and socked him in the stomach. The image disappeared.

"Doing that doesn't make him wrong."

His head tilted to the other side, and the Avenger was crouched there, a dark and terrifying avatar of the strength Sasuke had never quite been able to achieve. Cold. Emotionless. Constantly humming in fire and electricity, now that Sasuke couldn't produce it on his own. Never farther away than the little one, to take his place if Sasuke banished the first.

The Avenger's mouth made a fanged, cruel expression that could have been interpreted as a grin. "If you hadn't been so selfish, maybe you could have saved them. If you hadn't been so soft, he wouldn't have taken you."

"Go away," Sasuke grunted, rolling over onto his other side. The child was back, rocking back and forth.

"Nii-san died because you were stupid," he whispered.

"Fuck you."

"Fuck you," said the Avenger, cold hands dusting against the back of Sasuke's neck and wrapping around it, pressing, pressing, not choking. "You should have died as a child."

"Should have let me go to sleep," Little Sasuke agreed. "Instead you made me suffer. Everything is your fault."

"Shut UP!"

The ground surrounding them went up in flames. Three pairs of dark eyes flickered with orange and red.

Comments

[canistricari]

"But I haven't even said anything yet!"

Coyote was wrapped in the form of a snake around the branch of a nearby tree. Yes, he had been watching everything. He was quite curious, of course! But he held no dream sacred, and the flames didn't scare him in the least. As always, be was grinning madly.

[bondsoflove]

Oh. Great. A snake.

He was surprised it wasn't white, slithering scales made up of other small snakes. If it was Orochimaru visiting him from the eternal genjutsu Itachi had sent him to, he wasn't taking his preferred form.

Maybe this place was warping more than just Sasuke's chakra.

He picked up a twig, touched it to the flame so that it ignited, and flung it in the direction of the snake.

[canistricari]

The snake-creature (for it wasn't truly a snake, but it was close enough) caught the twig in his mouth and chomped it neatly into three pieces. Then he laughed.

"Now now, that wasn't very nice!"

[bondsoflove]

"You've had what you want. Go back to hell and leave me alone."

He'd never caught anything Sasuke had thrown before. Had he actually thrown it at all, or had it been genjutsu...?

With his sharingan in the state it was, he didn't trust himself to be able to tell.

[canistricari]

"Oh, no!" Coyote giggled, wrapping himself around the branch and moving a little closer.

"I haven't had nearly enough fun yet! What are you seeing, I wonder?"

[bondsoflove]

"I see a worm pretending he's a cobra."

Sasuke looked at him, scanning over the black scales and the scarlet eyes. "And I hear the buzzing of a gnat."

[canistricari]

"What about the roar of a lion?" His head swelled and took on the shape of a lion's, letting out a ferocious roar.

"Or the tweeting of a bird?" it shifted again, somewhere between the size of the lion's head and the snake's, but with the head of a large bird this time. He let out an echoing kaw!

"Or my favorite, the howling of a coyote!" And with that he dropped from the branch, taking his normal coyote form, and howled and cackled at the sky.

[bondsoflove]

Lion, bird, coyote. None of which Orochimaru transformed into. He had too much pride to play dumb with Sasuke--would have wanted it to know it was him. This development meant it wasn't.

"I could have told you that," sneered the little one. Sasuke ignored him, looking up at the creature.

"Who are you?"

[canistricari]

"You still don't remember?" Coyote pouted, mock hurt. It would seem the waking nightmare had quite a strong hold on the boy, and it meant that his clever tricks couldn't be properly appreciated.

"I am Coyote!"

[bondsoflove]

Eyes narrowing, Sasuke looked closer.

Outside of the distortion of the orb, Coyote looked different, but its laughter did ring in Sasuke's head as familiar.

"You're the one who spouts riddles," he said, flat.

[canistricari]

"When the mood strikes me!" Coyote cackled his confirmation. Sometimes he told riddles, and sometimes he told jokes. And sometimes he said only what would turn you around and make you look like a fool.

[bondsoflove]

"And when it doesn't?"

"You're wasting your time," spat the Avenger. "Distracting yourself with petty, meaningless chatter."

Sasuke growled behind his teeth, but didn't turn around to look.

[canistricari]

"No, no, I'm wasting your time!" Coyote marched around in a circle around the boy, inspecting the state of things. It was a rather interesting situation he'd put himself in.

"I'm enjoying myself quite a lot!"

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura hadn't been far when the sudden rush of flames caught his attention. What on Earth...

His eyes widened when he caught sight of a figure in the flames. Without a thought, he reached out, casting Shining Shied around him as he ran forward. "Sasuke!"

[bondsoflove]

All three froze at the call of his name, watching as Naruto surrounded himself with glass and went running through Sasuke's flame. He thought don't, you'll get hurt-- got as far as reaching his hand out, blinking stinging smoke out of his eyes.

It wasn't Naruto. It was Bakura. Blue eyes, so similar. The voice, so similar. But it wasn't him. The Avenger laughed at him, a mean sound, and the little one leaned against the flames like they were a comfortable chair, like he was immune.

Sasuke, on the ground, just looked. The fire was hot, but he could barely feel it, even though the sweat was making his tunic stick to his skin, damp.

[shiromadoushi]

The shield pushed the flames back, leaving Bakura in a perfectly protected bubble, the gem on his staff (that he couldn't recall summoning, but must have unconsciously) simmering with it's own cool white. With another soft gesture, Bakura pushed out the walls to try and force the flame back and bring Sasuke into it's protection.

"Are you all right?"

[bondsoflove]

For a minute, he just looked, mind slow. Being wrapped in the shield, whatever it was, made him feel chilled, almost like being inside Haku's ice mirrors.

He shook his head, and cast a narrow glare into the Avenger's scowling face. "They won't leave me alone."

The little one stuck his tongue out, and the Avenger scoffed. "Because you're so weak you wouldn't even be able to stand without me."

Sasuke growled in response.

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura followed where Sasuke was looking, unable to see anything. "...The ghosts again?" he asked softly. Would there be anyway...

He hesitated a moment. "Did you want me to see if there's anything I can do? I've never tried it on just spirits before, but I know that Purify works against other undead...." There was a difference between zombies and ghosts, but they should be similar enough, right...?

[bondsoflove]

"Persistent, immature, angry ones," Sasuke spat. Ghosts from his own head, yes, but still made of spirit. Nuisances. The Avenger glared at him and the child started to cry, silently, little face twisted with fury. He ignored them and focused on Bakura's eyes.

The gentle soothing that had washed over him when Bakura had healed the windows slipped into his memory.

"Do it. Can't hurt."

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura nodded before kneeling down next to the teen, eyes closing in concentration as the barrier around them grew more stable and solid. This wouldn't be like with Hiruma or Quatre... or like any of the other illnesses and curses he had healed before. A soft cool breeze began to gently swirl around them as the faint glow of Bakura's magic began to gather, bathing him in an ethereal light that slowly expanded to fill the entire shielded area.

'Let go... There's nothing that can be done here. Your resting place lays else where...'

He pushed the thought outward, the shield slowly expanding as he reached out to wherever the spirits that plagued Sasuke may rest.

As if in slow motion, he lowered his hands to rest on Sasuke's chest over his heart, the glow around him condensing to gently seep in with a cooling, soothing sensation, Bakura's own consciousness following it.

Strengthen. Heal. Protect.

It was a complex spell, different than the simple purify he had used to clean and open the windows. To remove a haunting, to clear a curse left by those that were made up of rage for an unjust end... If he were to seal his own soul against the invasion of the Ring's Spirit...

The image of the White Mage in Monster World, standing before the devastating blow, pouring his own life energy into protecting those he cared about-- his own soul, his own avatar-- his own will.

It wasn't Shining Shield. It was something more.

Protect.

[bondsoflove]

The chill started as a breeze, but it built as Bakura breathed, settling deeply into the fibers of Sasuke's muscle and the marrow of his bones. The shuddering started when hands were placed over his chest, running through his torso and down his limbs, a fresh green taste lingering on his tongue and the glow bright against his eyes.

He shut them and breathed, letting the sensation flow through him like a cooling rain.

When he opened his eyes and looked to either side, both the little one and the Avenger were gone.

[shiromadoushi]

Bakura was still a seemly long moment after the glow faded before his eyes finally opened. "... Better?"

[bondsoflove]

"...They're gone."

He looked again to either side, just to be sure. Nothing. No cackling, no humming of electricity. Whatever Bakura had done, it worked.

Blinking, he refocused on the blue eyes in front of him. "How...?"

[shiromadoushi]

"Aaa--" Bakura rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, doing his best not to seem off balance and grateful that he had sat down first. "I did a bit of a mix of spells... Purification, a bit of Healing, Strengthen and Shining Shield... Sort of to try and clear away any effect they would have had on you and try and protect from them reattaching if getting them to move on didn't work. I've never really done that before, so really, I'm not sure it would! Last time it was just removing the zombie-ness from people who were reanimated, which really isn't the same thing at all...."

The explanation wasn't quite right and Bakura knew it, he just wasn't quite sure how to explain it any other way.

"The way my magic works... it's not really that specific sometimes, so I just tried to do whatever I thought would help..."

[bondsoflove]

Unspecific. That explained why it had worked--his other selves weren't ghosts, not really. Projections of himself, perhaps.

The silence was soothing, and the prickle he usually felt at the back of his neck, letting him know he was being stared at with red or black eyes, was gone.

"Can you teach me how to do it?"

Having that on hand could prove very useful, when he needed to focus.