うちは サスケ | sasuke uchiha (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bondsoflove) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
eswareinmal2012-09-03 11:00 pm
bondsoflove) wrote in eswareinmal2012-09-03 11:00 pm
Entry tags:
It started in my fists, in my feet, in the hollows of my eyelids.
Characters: Sasuke, hallucinations ranging from younger versions of himself to amalgamations of people he loves, his horse, and you.
Open? Yes.
Where: The edge of the two-faced forest, out of sight of the shack.
When: midmorning, RD18
What: Insanity log!
Warnings: Not literal blood, but imagined blood and spoken of blood, and a lot of it. Talk of violence, torture, mental illness, self-victim-blaming, identity-splitting, psychosis... basically what you'd expect from Sasuke. There may be mentions of rape--please let me know if you would like to avoid this topic while threading.
The sun beat against his forehead, beads of sweat forming and clinging to his skin before soaking into his hairline. The grass was itchy through the tunic, and a little damp; the light made his eyes sting, but he couldn't turn his head in either direction without seeing the fury and hatred rolling off of all of them in tangible, visible waves.
"Are you listening to me?" The voice was high, raw with grief.
"No," Sasuke answered. The sky was almost as blue as Naruto's irises when he wasn't possessed by the nine-tailed fox's bloodlust.
"Pay attention." This one came from Sasuke's other side. Still high, but closer to the low growl he had now. "It's your fault. The least you can do is listen."
"Shut up." Sasuke pressed his forearm against his eyes, forcing himself into darkness. The ghosts of his mother and father took the opportunity to burn their faces into his mind's eye, features grotesque, twisted with rage. They held out their hands to him, and their fingers curled to claws, blood dripping from every pore in their skin.
He opened his eyes.
"It's your fault Mother and Father are dead." The first voice had a smug quality to it now, almost mocking. He turned to face himself, baby fat and his huge, dark eyes making him seem more innocent than what he was, a specter more real than Sasuke himself who hid behind shadows and followed him always, to remind him what he'd done wrong every time he came close to forgetting. The child's face twisted into an ugly scowl, and his eyes filled with tears that streamed down his fat cheeks.
"Everything is your fault!" Little Sasuke screamed.
Sasuke curled a fist and socked him in the stomach. The image disappeared.
"Doing that doesn't make him wrong."
His head tilted to the other side, and the Avenger was crouched there, a dark and terrifying avatar of the strength Sasuke had never quite been able to achieve. Cold. Emotionless. Constantly humming in fire and electricity, now that Sasuke couldn't produce it on his own. Never farther away than the little one, to take his place if Sasuke banished the first.
The Avenger's mouth made a fanged, cruel expression that could have been interpreted as a grin. "If you hadn't been so selfish, maybe you could have saved them. If you hadn't been so soft, he wouldn't have taken you."
"Go away," Sasuke grunted, rolling over onto his other side. The child was back, rocking back and forth.
"Nii-san died because you were stupid," he whispered.
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you," said the Avenger, cold hands dusting against the back of Sasuke's neck and wrapping around it, pressing, pressing, not choking. "You should have died as a child."
"Should have let me go to sleep," Little Sasuke agreed. "Instead you made me suffer. Everything is your fault."
"Shut UP!"
The ground surrounding them went up in flames. Three pairs of dark eyes flickered with orange and red.
Open? Yes.
Where: The edge of the two-faced forest, out of sight of the shack.
When: midmorning, RD18
What: Insanity log!
Warnings: Not literal blood, but imagined blood and spoken of blood, and a lot of it. Talk of violence, torture, mental illness, self-victim-blaming, identity-splitting, psychosis... basically what you'd expect from Sasuke. There may be mentions of rape--please let me know if you would like to avoid this topic while threading.
The sun beat against his forehead, beads of sweat forming and clinging to his skin before soaking into his hairline. The grass was itchy through the tunic, and a little damp; the light made his eyes sting, but he couldn't turn his head in either direction without seeing the fury and hatred rolling off of all of them in tangible, visible waves.
"Are you listening to me?" The voice was high, raw with grief.
"No," Sasuke answered. The sky was almost as blue as Naruto's irises when he wasn't possessed by the nine-tailed fox's bloodlust.
"Pay attention." This one came from Sasuke's other side. Still high, but closer to the low growl he had now. "It's your fault. The least you can do is listen."
"Shut up." Sasuke pressed his forearm against his eyes, forcing himself into darkness. The ghosts of his mother and father took the opportunity to burn their faces into his mind's eye, features grotesque, twisted with rage. They held out their hands to him, and their fingers curled to claws, blood dripping from every pore in their skin.
He opened his eyes.
"It's your fault Mother and Father are dead." The first voice had a smug quality to it now, almost mocking. He turned to face himself, baby fat and his huge, dark eyes making him seem more innocent than what he was, a specter more real than Sasuke himself who hid behind shadows and followed him always, to remind him what he'd done wrong every time he came close to forgetting. The child's face twisted into an ugly scowl, and his eyes filled with tears that streamed down his fat cheeks.
"Everything is your fault!" Little Sasuke screamed.
Sasuke curled a fist and socked him in the stomach. The image disappeared.
"Doing that doesn't make him wrong."
His head tilted to the other side, and the Avenger was crouched there, a dark and terrifying avatar of the strength Sasuke had never quite been able to achieve. Cold. Emotionless. Constantly humming in fire and electricity, now that Sasuke couldn't produce it on his own. Never farther away than the little one, to take his place if Sasuke banished the first.
The Avenger's mouth made a fanged, cruel expression that could have been interpreted as a grin. "If you hadn't been so selfish, maybe you could have saved them. If you hadn't been so soft, he wouldn't have taken you."
"Go away," Sasuke grunted, rolling over onto his other side. The child was back, rocking back and forth.
"Nii-san died because you were stupid," he whispered.
"Fuck you."
"Fuck you," said the Avenger, cold hands dusting against the back of Sasuke's neck and wrapping around it, pressing, pressing, not choking. "You should have died as a child."
"Should have let me go to sleep," Little Sasuke agreed. "Instead you made me suffer. Everything is your fault."
"Shut UP!"
The ground surrounding them went up in flames. Three pairs of dark eyes flickered with orange and red.
no subject
Sasuke sat up, pulling his knees to his chest. His mouth was a hard line. "Bonds are no more than shackles."