1st Hop [orb]

[entirelybonkers]

[ Initially, there is nothing. You’re just going about your normal day, orb nice and silent, until-- ]

Good heavens!

[ There is a bright blue eyeball peering into it from the other end, expression, what can be seen of it, delighted. ]

How perfectly marvelous – how on earth does it truly work? Hello? Can you hear me in there?

[ She taps it and pulls back, her entire face coming into view. ]

Terribly curious indeed – how whimsically magical…

[ She straightens, and folds her arms, armor clanking. ]

For anyone that may or may not be inside of this magical device, I bid thee a fond greeting – I am Alice Kingsleigh, the White Queen’s Champion, at your service.

Now…please tell me there are no jabberwocks to be slain? The last one was quite rude.

Comments

[entirelybonkers]

...

Well, that's terribly pessimistic of you. Whatever for? It's a splendid sort of rabbit hole, though I confess it isn't precisely where I meant to go, but sometimes these things do happen.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[The hedgewizard folds his arms.]}

This place is bullshit! The king doesn't know what he's doing, there's no electricity, the townspeople won't mind their own damn business, and as far as I can see, there's no way home.

And stay outta the woods.

[entirelybonkers]

That doesn't seem so terribly horrible! Why, that all seems almost standard, especially when pitted against my dear Underland - truly, this doesn't seem so frightfully awful.

What is in these woods everyone speaks of?

[goldeneyeball]

Then you should fit in just fine here.

<sub>[It wasn't a compliment.]

[He does warn the girl though. He figured that if this place had called him as a 'hero' he might as well not be an asshole for like...five minutes.]</sub>

You know, monsters, giant thorns, one-horned cows, some pond that'll erase your memory. Bad stuff.

[entirelybonkers]

[ five WHOLE minutes? gracious! Alice would hate for the poor dear to hurt himself.... ]

...It sounds very nearly like something the Red Queen would do - or at the very least partake in.. How positively deadful.

[goldeneyeball]

Dreadful! Dreadful is another good word for this place. You're on the right track, now!

[entirelybonkers]

It can't all be bad.

[ CAN IT? ]

[goldeneyeball]

Well...

_{[He's thinking.]}

I can't remember anybody being outright murdered since I've been here. Vanished, sure but...

[entirelybonkers]

There. See? Things can always get worse.

Now, enough negativity! What, precisely, is your name, my good sir...?

[goldeneyeball]

_{[She's got you there, Jimbo.]}

Yeah, well...hmf. James. The Great and Terrible!

[entirelybonkers]

[ aha! Alice: 1, JW: 0 ]

Great and terrible? Can you be both great and terrible? [ PONDER. ]

Wouldn't it be...greatly terrible, or terribly great?

[goldeneyeball]

My power is great. _{[Sure it is.]} And I'm most likely taller than you. So there's that.

[entirelybonkers]

What sort of power?

[ HMPH. ]

How tall are you?

[goldeneyeball]

The forces that brought us here appointed me a wizard.

_{[For God knows what reason.]}

Six foot nine. Without the antlers. How tall are you?

[entirelybonkers]

Gracious, have you had to much Upelkuchen?

[goldeneyeball]

...Is that a drug where you're from?

[entirelybonkers]

Don't be silly, it's cake.

[goldeneyeball]

I've never heard of anybody getting taller from eating cake.

[entirelybonkers]

Oh, there's little enough worry - enough pishsalver and you'll shrink right back down.

...

Best you don't have too much though - you won't be quite right if you do.

[goldeneyeball]

_{[James tilts his head and squints as he processes this information.]}

No, I'm pretty sure that sounds like some kind of drug.

[entirelybonkers]

No, no -- these are hardly opiates. It simply alters body mass, that's all!!

[ REALLY ITS OKAY 8D It's totally normal. ]

[goldeneyeball]

So it's magic?

_{[Jim, some people call those the same thing.]}

[entirelybonkers]

Mmm, I suppose it could be considered as such...

It's more a cake and stew though. It's just -- best not to watch the ingredients be added.

[goldeneyeball]

What goes into this cake and stew?

_{[What...what no he's not grabbing a pad and pencil. What are you talking about?]}

[entirelybonkers]

Pishsalver? It's terribly revolting, are you certain you want to know?