うちは サスケ | sasuke uchiha (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
bondsoflove) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
eswareinmal2012-08-27 12:13 am
bondsoflove) wrote in eswareinmal2012-08-27 12:13 am
Entry tags:
Every step you take.
Characters: Sasuke, Bakura
Open? Nah.
Where: HH.
When: RD17, morning.
What: Sasuke's developing a...fixation.
Warnings: Bad language, harmless stalking.
He'd woken with a start sometime in the predawn with tears on his face and no memory of his dream aside from the overwhelming presence of brother.
Sickened by his own weakness--he'd promised himself he wouldn't fall asleep; he'd promised--and childish emotion, he'd pushed himself off the bed and made to leave. He wasn't sure where he'd go--the forest, maybe, to set fire to a pile of leaves and see if he could get it to burn brighter than a fucking candle. But he stopped abruptly, nearly tripping over a plate.
Onigiri.
He carried them back into his room and ate them on the bed. The first bite made him realize how hungry he'd been; the rest were quickly finished off. They weren't filled with tomato and skipjack.
Why had he...
Afterwards, Sasuke waited until he heard movement in the other areas of the mansion before slipping out of his room again, this time with an empty plate. And here he stood, just outside the kitchen with plate in hand, rooted to the spot as he watched Bakura moving about.
Damn it.
Open? Nah.
Where: HH.
When: RD17, morning.
What: Sasuke's developing a...fixation.
Warnings: Bad language, harmless stalking.
He'd woken with a start sometime in the predawn with tears on his face and no memory of his dream aside from the overwhelming presence of brother.
Sickened by his own weakness--he'd promised himself he wouldn't fall asleep; he'd promised--and childish emotion, he'd pushed himself off the bed and made to leave. He wasn't sure where he'd go--the forest, maybe, to set fire to a pile of leaves and see if he could get it to burn brighter than a fucking candle. But he stopped abruptly, nearly tripping over a plate.
Onigiri.
He carried them back into his room and ate them on the bed. The first bite made him realize how hungry he'd been; the rest were quickly finished off. They weren't filled with tomato and skipjack.
Why had he...
Afterwards, Sasuke waited until he heard movement in the other areas of the mansion before slipping out of his room again, this time with an empty plate. And here he stood, just outside the kitchen with plate in hand, rooted to the spot as he watched Bakura moving about.
Damn it.
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It was harsh, and he turned to glare. He'd given up everything when he left Konoha--hadn't had a choice. He'd never had a choice, really. "It doesn't matter. I don't plan on living long after I take my revenge."
To be with his family--to be able to face them and say Mother, Father, I did it, I made them pay for what they did to you--
He wanted it.
Desperately.
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Sasuke fisted his hands in his pants, looking at the wall. "As long as I avenge them before I do it, yes."
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"What I want? It doesn't matter what I want. It never has. My entire clan is dead, and I am literally the only one left who can avenge them. I am the only one who knows how meaningless their slaughter was, who ordered it, which heads to target first."
His fists tightened against the counter. "I will avenge them. Then I will die, like I should have ten years ago. There was never a question. I don't have room, or time, for things like wanting."
He remembered himself and chewed on the inside of his cheek, brows knitted in a scowl. "Or, I didn't have time. I have all the fucking time in the world now, I guess."
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He slowly stirred the pan of vegetables, not really looking at it. "Even though I know it's not the same... I know my sister would be angry with me for saying that I should be with her and Mother. She told me once, the first time I died," he admitted with a faint smile. "All but pushed me back, yelling at me that since she couldn't go back, I had to. Once their need for vengeance is filled... I'm sure your family would want the same for you."
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Which is what would happen. Which is what almost happened, before Madara stepped in and told him the truth. For hours after killing Itachi, he hadn't been able to muster the will to move. There hadn't been any reason for him to.
Once, he'd thought of starting the clan again, but where would they go? Rebuilt from the ashes of Konoha, once he'd destroyed it? There was no one to carry his children. He didn't want their blood poisoned by the Leaf, diluted into a mockery of the Uchiha name.
"We'll be immortal," he said, and a soft smile played about his lips. It comforted him, to think of it. "There will be ballads and stories written about us. Our power will be feared and envied and adored, like it should be."
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No. He didn't. Why should he? Why Sasuke was bothering trying to make him understand, he didn't know. There wasn't anything else to do.
"I'm exhausted," he continued, looking sidelong at Bakura. "If I don't go out fighting, I'll take to drink, or opiates, or just cloister myself in a mountain somewhere and die of starvation. There is nothing left that I love. I don't want to die a pathetic old man."