Ginia Solana (
shadedsunlight) wrote in
eswareinmal2012-07-16 09:53 am
Entry tags:
This house is full of stories we both told
Characters: Ginia Solana and Rupert Giles, later with Ginia Solana and Helios Sprensonne
Open? No.
Where: A bookstore in the city, later a bakery.
When: The morning of 11th of Rebirth's Decline
What: A hero learns her fate and it's not a good one.
Warnings: PG for likely language and discussions of death.
Open? No.
Where: A bookstore in the city, later a bakery.
When: The morning of 11th of Rebirth's Decline
What: A hero learns her fate and it's not a good one.
Warnings: PG for likely language and discussions of death.

And for all this pantomime, you should see the state I'm in - For Giles
But looking for something to read is a nice distraction. The Hero of the Mountain is gone, her physical and metaphorical blood spilled, some of it on her hands. The strange girl was hardly the first she had killed, and maybe she didn't really die, just went back to wherever she came from, but the scream stuck with her. It was always the screams that haunted you. The screams and the question of whether that was the right thing.
It seemed like it with everything back to normal, but what really was around here? Ginia sighs and snaps another book shut and returns it to the shelf, looking over at the rows of books and willing something interesting to catch her attention.
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He'd always been sensitive, about his hands. Angelus hadn't been the first to drill that fear into him, but the vampire had made it all the sharper and even now, over ten years later, damage or harm to his hands still struck an irrational, animal note of fear in Giles. So he'd been wearing gloves, ever since he could find a pair after their assault came to an end, just so he didn't have to think about the sight of his skin aging like old parchment, or the feeling of his muscles withering and his bones weakening all in the span of a few seconds that he'd touched the Hero.
He was better now, thank whatever gods were out there, but it was an image that was proving hard to shake, and a horror that was proving strangely hard to move past. And so, when Ginia had proposed a trip to the bookstore, Giles had happily agreed. He'd been up to the library already, but that had been for research on very little time. A chance to browse, a chance to really look at the writings of this world...it might help them all, in a lot of ways.
Something does catch Giles' eye, as he browses the shelf on the other side of Ginia. Curiously, he pulls a book in blue leather from its place, holding it in his hands to regard the cover thoughtfully. It seems almost familiar, but he can't place where he might have seen it in the past. The vague notion is going to drive him mad, he knows, and so that settles the issue of taking it over to Ginia. Maybe she'll remember.
"Ginia?" He moves around the shelf to her side, touching her shoulder lightly to get his attention. When she turns, he'll offer the book with a smile. "What about this?"
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Ginia knows better than to dismiss her skills, but it's hard not feeling useless surrounded by magic and everything else. It's always the same question of the end; what if she can't protect the people she loves?
She gives Giles a delayed smile and takes the book from his hand. There's no title or anything else on the cover, but on the very first page is a sword and olive wreath embossed onto the page. Celeres Consulting. The familiar logo brings a faint smile to her face. It had been years since she thought about that particular company and she feels a bit of the sting surrounding Erika death. Her friend was dead, nothing would bring her back, and she moved on in part, but there was always that lingering question of who killed Erika and why.
Nostalgia. Such power. She shakes it off and reminds herself a sword and olive wreath were not particularly unique symbols as she turns to the next page.
Herein lies the story of Ginia Marie Solana, born in Davenport, Massachusetts, of the United States of America, in the year 1981...
Her gut instinct is to snap the book shut and throw it aside, but her eyes remained glued as she slowly flips through the pages, taking in the details of her life. She flips forward, managing to land at the exact place - or maybe there was only one place to really flip to - and as she begins to read, a bright light engulfs her.
For a few seconds there's nothing but light, completely blinding. When the light fades, Ginia still stands where she is, but remarkably different. Her previous clothes were replaced with leather armor, a black mask covering her face. The book falls from her gloved hands and she follows a few seconds after, falling onto her knees.
It can't be. No, no, no.
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...he still couldn't remember. And he was trying not to dwell too much on that.
And so, Giles didn't realize that anything at all was wrong until the light appeared, bright and blinding and searing even to him. he whriled about, a cry of alarm sticking in his throat as Ginia was engulfed. He reached for her, feeling as though he were moving through a fog, far too slowly to be of any help, to save her...
...but then the light fades, and Ginia is still there, and that's lal that matters for a few seconds. Giles reaches out, wraps his arms tightly around her and sinks to his knees with her, his heart pounding in his ears so loudly that the world is blotted out.
"Ginia, gods, w-what was that?"
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But the love and care Giles shows her feels foreign even as her current memories say it's natural and good. Wheat she feels for him hasn't changed, yet it comes in conflict with what she knows. Ginia pulls away from him, shaking slightly as she tries to process everything.
It's been five years. Five long years.
And now she's dead. Her hand touches against her chest. If she removed her clothes, would there be bullet wounds on her skin? Her hand moves to her face, gloved hands on the thin mask. She hesitates, but afraid to show Giles, but she must.
She tugs the mask down and pulls her cowl back. In those few seconds, Ginia aged five years and it shows. The new lines on her face, the forming wrinkles, the tired expression of a woman who wanted peace and never found it, she's aged.
For a few seconds, Ginia stares at him, processing everything. Her pride fails and her face crumbles, tears streaming down her cheeks before she covers it in shame. This is it. This is the end.
She died. She's dead.
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But he stays close - he can't do anything else, after something like this, after the fear that he might have lost her is still tight and suffocating in his chest. The fact that she's still here only does a bit to relieve that pain, because even before she pulls the hood away and shows her face again, Giles knows that something has changed.
There's a second of nothingness, of breathless, dizzying strangeness as he looks into Ginia's face for the first time in five years. And then his mind fires back into life, and he sees. More than most, Giles knows what just a few years can do to age a person. But he could swallow all of those little changes, if not for the look in her eyes.
His hand, still covered by a glove, finds hers' and squeezes tight. It's not a conscious gesture, he's not even aware that he's done so until she starts to cry. Because then Giles moves in to embrace her and then...stops himself, holds himself back, not sure what to do and wishing that he was.
"Ginia...?"
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Thoughts of Tara, their beautiful unborn child cross her mind. Will they ever meet her? Reach a place where they can raise a family? It seems so hopeles and ludracris now. Who ever heard of two dead people bringing life into the world? It only makes her despair and hurt more.
She remembers Giles too, kneeling here so lost and confused. Ginia throws her arms around him and holds him tight, grasping onto her love and affection for him as if it would slip away like so many other things. Even some of her memories of him felt faint or muddled. Her face buries into his neck and shoulder, trying to control her crying.
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Giles is piercingly, achingly aware that he'd just lost Ginia...just for a few seconds, from his perspective, but she'd been taken away all the same. It was a pain he'd never had to experience, not in this specific fashion - he'd been taken from her, yes, twice before this, but the same had never happened to her. And now that she's back, all he can think about is that it might happen again.
"I'm here..." His voice is trembling with a mixed up knot of emotions, and he knows he should say more, offer more in the way of comfort. But, somehow, that seems like the most important thing. "Ginia, I'm here..."
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Her strong burst of emotion subsides slightly, a shudder running through her as she breathes in. Giles is here and they are together and he loves her and she's alive here. She's alive, breathing, existing, living. It's an idea she has to cling onto just as she clings onto Giles because it's all she has now.
Ginia has to tell him. She considers not telling him, finding some other excuse for her sudden sadness and grief. She vaguely remembers a letter where he told he he regretted telling her because she had to suffer with the knowledge he was gone. Wouldn't it be the same here? The burden of her death would be his as well? But there are things to tell him.
She starts with the easiest one. Her hands unwind from his back to his chest, resting lightly before she draws back and looks at him. Ginia does her best to memorize how he looks, committing every detail of him to memory again because she finds herself needing to remember. Five years is a long time, more so with a fractured memory.
/She's gone. Alice./
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Giles lets her pull away when she finally shows that she wants to, and sits back to look at her as she looks at him. His gaze takes in all the little details, all the changes, all the ways she's older now than she was then. She's still beautiful, she's still Ginia, but...years can change a person, and he'd be lying if he said he wasn't scared.
So her first words surprise him, and it shows, knocking Giles out of his fear and trepidation into an expression of genuine surprise. "...Alice? W-What do you mean?"
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Her head drops, suddenly afraid to look at him and see his reaction. She knows Alice and him were never close, really only cautious and begrudging allies at best, but however he might react to the news, it scares her. However, she also knows there's a lot she could tell to scare him.
/...It's been five years, Giles. I'm 37./ On the bright side, it does close the age gap somewhat.
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That sinks in before he can truly process the realities of Alice being 'gone'. Alice is just something he'd come to accept about Ginia, a difficulty and a quirk that were part and parcel of loving her. Give time, though...he'll be happy.
"...you've aged well."
It's a lie, she looks five years older than that just from stress. But it's a lie looks like it might help, if only a bit.
"...I missed you. And, and...I'm glad you're back."
That, of course, was the utter truth.
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Still, she smiles a little because the thought helps.
/...I missed you too. And I'm glad to be here./ Because the unknown after death scares her. Is there an afterlife? Heaven or Hell or some peaceful resting place? Or is it only nothingness to follow? Or is death simply another world and another chance at living?
/Do you still love me?/ It's only been minutes for him, but five years for her and she needs that reassurance and extra bit of stability.
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One day, he'd know for certain. Until then? He could only hope that he'd done enough to redeem himself and escape a hell dimension for all eternity.
Ginia's answer, therefore, is a hug so tight that it's as though Giles is trying to keep her with him by sheer force of will. Really, on a certain level, he is.
"More than ever."
Truer words he has never spoken.
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But maybe if he did leave, it would be better for him.
She kisses him. A light kiss from someone who has forgotten how to be tender and loving and is doing her best to ease back into that role. Her hands cup his face and she rests her forehead against his.
She has to tell him. He has to know. It would be leading him on otherwise.
Ginia pulls back and looks at him, taking a deep breath before signing two words that change everything.
/I died./
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Giles knows how to read sign language.
But when he sees those two words, he wonders if he's forgotten. Because what he's reading them to mean...it isn't right. It can't be right. He must be seeing wrong, understanding wrong...it can't really be...
Giles lets out his breath in what sounds like a sob. He hates himself for showing even that little of how those two words rip his heart to pieces, but there's only so much he can keep back in the face of that. The urge to turn away just so she doesn't see his face is overpowering...but, instead, he just hugs her again, gently and tenderly this time, as though she'll break to pieces if he's not careful.
He doesn't say anything, but that's because he's trying not to cry. But he'll pull away after a few seconds, so she can say something if she wants. At suck close proximity, he doesn't think he'll miss anything even if he takes his glasses off to clean the dust of the store away.
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Her expression hardens as she pulls herself together to share her story, the signs spilling from her fingers before now there's nowhere else to go. Keeping them in will only kill her more and right now she needs someone to help carry her burden for her.
/Project Whitecap, they were the group that... experimented on me while I was in the hospital. They made Alice, tested all sorts of things on us. Someone tried to speak out against them, went to the media, told everyone that would listen. He disappeared and the government covered everything up, then came after anyone who was in the project.
They tried to kill me, but I escaped. Faked my death and spent a few years laying low in Santa Fe. No one knew who I was, no one had to know. But an old friend... he ran into me. He was hiding from Whitecap, him and a sixteen-year-old./
She grit her teeth in anger. After so many months of running, it felt so good being able to spill everything out to someone else. Jack knew all her anger and agreed, but it felt good being able to purge out all her frustration and hatred toward those who ran her country. /They were experimenting on children. Teenagers, children, turning them into soldiers, into assassins. They were always children picked up off the streets or from the hospital, people no one would ever miss. Natalie was only sixteen and already as good a shot as I was. Natalie wasn't even her real name, it was the background they imprinted on her.
/I helped them escape. I had to. We spent months avoiding them, never staying in one place for long, but we could only keep it up for so long. Between Natalie and me, they would never stop coming after us. So I sent them off to Taiwan where some old contacts could hide them and I brought them time in the airport./
Her hands clenched into fists and her head dropped down. She could see it clearly, the agents coming after them, her and her stash of weapons alone. A final desperate fight on the tarmac. Giving into her deathseeker ways? Perhaps.
/I don't remember how many I took down. But the plane got away. I did all I could for them. I don't regret that./
Cos you're too sacred and I would feel wrong - For Helios
It still didn't make it any easier. She walked through the streets of Schwanheim, earning more than a few glances from the goggle-eyed villages due to her armor. At least they weren't harassing her about her romance with Giles, she as pretty sure she'd stab the next person who did. But when the staring grew too uncomfortable and the whispers too loud, Ginia decided to vanish. It made for a slower walk, but at least no one could see her now. She continued to walk along until she saw the bakery. Ah. Cookies and cake. That was a good way to soften the blow of her bad news. Smiling faintly, Ginia entered the shop.
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Helios will just be browsing the bakery's selection a sad look always under his features.
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Her armor is an apparent enough change, but there are other differences too. Ginia is an older woman by five years now, her face a little more worn and lined from the years. There's still that ever present smile on her face, but her eyes miss the signs of genuine joy.
/Hi, Helios. There's a really nice looking chocolate cake on the shelf over there./ she signs and points over at the cake shelf, trying to keep things casual and light for now. It's quite clear there's something on his mind, though exactly what she's not sure.
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"Ginia?!" He sounds so confused so very confused as he sees her standing there. His eyes tick to the cake and then back to her. His smile is tentative and then it gets a little bit wider.
"You're r-right. That c-cake does look delicious." It's spoken ever so softly as he nods.
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/I think it'll make such a nice little snack. It's a pity there isn't a park or anything around, though I suppose it's pretty scenic outside the city. Maybe we should pack some food and have a picnic./ Ginia signs quickly because talking is a good distraction and it keeps her hands busy.
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"That's a wonderful idea. It'll be nice to lay back and relax a little. C-Cake is a very lovely comfort food after all." Another more genuine smile as he walks over to the cake to examine it. It was delicious look. Dark, rich, chocolate and possibly some raspberry jam mixed in.
"We can stop by one of the local stands to pick up some other things if-if you want. Ah! A-And maybe we should c-contact Giles too..."
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/I think that sounds wonderful. All of it. Whatever you want to do./
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"All right. I'll just go pay for this and th-then we can head out, hm?"
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/Let me do this./ There are no tonal inflections to back up her words, but the serious and earnest expression on her face and the emphasis she puts on her words make it more than just a simple and friendly offer. This is something she has to do because she knows, yet again, she'll be ruining his day. (Again, her mind reminds, also chiming in with the suggestion she leave him and Giles because they would be much better off without her.)
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"A-Alright. If, if you want to." He doesn't look very sure about it because he would pay for it in an instant. But the way Ginia was acting right now...something told him that she was about to tell him something. Something that wasn't good.
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But it was slipping now because she was dead and she had to tell Helios. Ginia pulls herself back together and goes to take the cake off the shelf and bring it up to the counter to purchase. Once it's been paid for and boxed up, she returns to Helios' side, carefully holding the box in one hand.
/What else did you want to get? Some fruit maybe? I think that would go well with cake./
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"Fruit, yes. That sounds fine. Maybe some raspberries and strawberries?"
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/Think they're hiding something? No, silly me, of course they're hiding something./
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Helios laughs at that as he shakes his head. The laugh isn't anything mirthful it's a bit tired and dreary in tone actually. Really after Luceti he sometimes wished people were more straightforward.
"Possibly. Probably. I-I'm not sure why. We are the ones being brought here to help them. But, ah, Luceti taught us both that much that something's aren't always what they seem." Being lab rats while they fought a war for the people experimenting on them. Helios didn't understand it in the slightest, really.
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/Life never really is. It's so easy to believe something that's nothing but a lie./ Some of her own bitterness seeps out, causing Ginia to fall silent for a little as they walk. /Someone's always pulling on the strings to make you dance./
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Helios looks over at her sadly. He reads the words she signs and his frown only deepens. "Ginia. What's wrong? Something...something happened didn't it?" He doesn't like seeing her like that. It makes him sad seeing her like this.
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She keeps walking until they're away from any crowds and she leans against a wall. The cake is set down on a nearby crate and she looks out a bit, trying to summon up her courage, trying to push away the ill feeling of disappointing Helios yet again.
/...It's been five years, Helios. I went home and came back./