eswareinmal | 3rd Orb - 19th of Rebirth's Decline; Evening

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3rd Orb - 19th of Rebirth's Decline; Evening

[It's been a long day. Too many long days, but today was particularly taxing between being set free from a curse and injuring the two people she loves most in the process, briefly attending a farce posing as a wedding, and returning as many of her ill-gained goods as possible.

That Ginia happened to find a piano in one of the rooms of the castle was perhaps one of the best things to happen all day. So seated at the piano, having traded her armor and dark clothes for a dress and the only jewelry a beautiful emerald and silver necklace, Ginia sets the orb on the piano, offering the briefest of smiles, being she begins to play.

After she finishes the first song, she pauses before she begins playing her next song.

There's another pause before her third song. It's one that takes a bit of thought and she's not even sure if the person who she wants to hear it is listening, but even if he isn't, maybe someone else will get the message for themselves. So taking a deep breath, Ginia begins to sing and play.

Her fourth, and final song, may be a little strange to anyone familiar with it. However, as Ginia sings and plays Silver Bells, it's intended for one recipient only. Everyone else can simply enjoy it.

Once she's finished, she bows her head modestly and smile as the orb.]

I hope you all enjoyed that. If... you'd like to hear more, I'd be happy to oblige.

((ooc; Yes, that's right, Ginia is talking. As per this log, Helios enchanted a necklace (picked out by Giles) that allows her to talk. The necklace only works if she's wearing it, magic-canceling abilities will prevent the necklace from working.))

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Why... Why do you love me?

[It's a silly sounding question to ask and it makes Ginia feel like a giggly adolescent all over again, but it's a question beyond those five words. It's a question of reassurance, of curiosity, of a reflection of her own failings and low self-esteem hiding under an outwardly bold and fearless personality. It's the actions of the last few day finally rearing up and wrapping her in a layer of doubt and uncertainty because people have always loved her and she still can't see why.]

[It's not a bad question, no. Not as such.

It still hits Giles like one of many blows to the head, though, and he looks honestly off guard. He almost visibly falters, even sitting beside her on the bed.]

...why?

[It's a very, very long time since he's considered that question at all. Probably it last happened before that Christmas night, when they'd danced together in the snow and sung that song together.

Why does he love Ginia? Giles almost can't remember a time when he didn't. Or maybe it's simply that he doesn't want to. Either way, the former Watcher looks at a loss.

But, he tries.]

I felt...I, I felt as though I was on equal footing, with you. Always have.

[It's closer to an answer to "why did you fall in love with me?" but, it's also true. Thinking back to everyone he was close to in Luceti before Ginia came into his life...they loved him, and he loved them, more than his own life, but there was always a slight element of distance there, a wall put up by his own age and experience and brokenness.

He never felt that, with her.]

[It may be a surprise to Giles, but it was the sort of answer Ginia was looking for. She didn't expect him to wax poetic on her beauty and intelligence and graces and everything about that. He could, that she didn't doubt, and in Luceti there were pages of poems to prove it, but to voice it when put on the spot? No, she didn't expect that from him.

Because equal footing was something that mattered a lot to her.]

...I see.

[Ginia falls into silence again, still holding his hand, still lightly stroking his fingers. When she speaks, it's quiet and almost more to herself than to him, though the words are certainly for him.]

I was engaged once.

...oh.

[Five years. She was gone for five years. And Ginia is an honestly remarkable woman.

It shouldn't be a surprise.

But he also knows that she wouldn't tell him this without a purpose. And so, albeit with a very great effort, Giles keeps his gaze steady on her face, and his expression calm.]

...what happened?

I broke it off. He was... [It takes as much effort to keep her gaze steady on Giles' face, though her hands release his so she lace them back together and fidget as she tries to find her words again. The memory hurts a little, a small dull ache of what could have been, but not so much regret.

There is only one place to begin, and it is the beginning. She closes her eyes as she traces all the faded and tangled memories back to the start.]

Nicholas Lapointe. French, from Marseille. We met through work, one of the finest con men I've ever met and had the pleasure of working with. Very handsome, very charming, very intelligent, one of the top in the field. A shameless flirt and womanizer, to no surprise.

I don't know why it was different with me. Sure, he flirted with me, we teased each other, but he was always very kind and quite the gentleman to me. Professional boundaries, perhaps. We worked together for months. Then I suppose he fell in love with me. He'd take me out to the finest restaurants, pull me away from my work to show me a place in town I would always like. Let me think there was work in Argentina when it was really tango lessons, a beautiful night of dinner and dancing, and a private villa to rest in. Flew us from Tokyo to Paris in order to have proper crepes and proper French desserts.

[She sighs and shakes her head.] He was a very romantic man. Very extravagant too.

...were you happy with him?

[There are so many things Giles could say to that, but this question seems, somehow, to be the most important.

If she'd been torn away from her engagement by coming back here, that would be one thing. But she said she'd broken it off. Had she done so of her own free will?

...it sounds wonderful, and Giles can't understand why she would have.

His hands clench and unclench slightly, at the sudden loss of contact. Giles stares down at them, at all the scars and signs of age, before he looks back up at Ginia and waits for her to find the words.]

[There's no way to answer the question without possibly hurting Giles in some slight way. She knows it must be as difficult for him to hear about the seemingly perfect life she had with another man, a life that could have been and almost was.

However, the key fact was it wasn't and never would be.]

I was. I was very happy and I enjoyed his company very much, and yes, I suppose even I couldn't resist his charm and romancing. When he proposed, I said yes.

But as we began planning and discussing things, I realized I didn't really love him. He was a wonderful man, one of the best I've ever known, but I never shake the feeling I was some... prize or treasure placed on a pedestal. Before we began dating, there were a few times I'd walk into a bar or a club not knowing he was there. I've seen him chatting up a woman and charming her completely, then dropped her immediately if he saw me. He put me in front of everyone else, he admitted that much himself. He would have given me the world if I asked for it.

But I could never stop thinking about the other women and wonder if I would ever be in that position. If some other person was to catch his attention. He put me on a pedestal of perfection and I was afraid of disappointing him.

And maybe in the end, I loved the idea of him. Romantic, carefree, an exquisite lover, I loved all of that, but I didn't love him. So I returned the ring and said goodbye.

[Ginia closes her eyes again and sighs heavily, trying to banish Nicholas' face from her memory, the stunned hurt when she gave back his ring and told him goodbye. When she opens them again, she looks at Giles, memorizing his face. Her expression cracks, but before it can crumble completely, she throws her arms around him and hugs him fiercely.]

...I'm telling you because I love you. Because I want to be with you. I want a man who I can be on equal footing with, someone I can trust completely, who knows me in and out, who loves me for me, flaws and all.

Nichols was always ready to catch me if I fell and carry me off to safety. You catch me and put me back on my feet.

[If she hadn't hugged him there and then, Giles would have done so in another couple of seconds. And so, even if he's surprised by the sudden movement, and gasps a bit as Ginia wraps her arms around him, it's only an instant before he recovers himself and embraces her fiercely to him in turn.]

...I can always promise you that much.

[His voice is low and soft but perfectly sincere. Equal footing. As long as he's with her and as long as he's himself. It's the least she deserves, but it's the most he can promise her int he tumultuous existence they've found themselves in. And so, he does.

It's important to him, too.]

Th-Thank you, Ginia. For...for telling me this.

[He can tell it must have been an enormous effort for her, but he feels like he understands her...this new, five-years-older her...better than he did before. And it's almost, almost funny. All this time, Giles had never thought that she'd ever worry about being on equal footing with him.

He'll hold her until she gives any sign of wanting him to let go. She can talk, now, so at the least he doesn't have to worry about obstructing her hands.]

[It's too long since they've been together like this, if at all. All Ginia wants to do is stay in his arms and savor the moment. Her death still remains on her mind, the knowledge any moment this could end and when it does, there will be nothing left.]

Of course, Rupert. Honestly, I should have told you sooner, but it never seemed important. It was the past, it was irrelevant, it was never appropriate, I didn't want to drive you off, etcetera,etcetera . It was almost easier to pretend it never happened. I suppose I only mention it now since... everything. ['Everything' including the point up to her return from death a new woman at thirty-seven to now.]

[Everything. Everything that, if he's honest with himself, he's been trying to ignore, too. But here, with her in his arms and him stroking her hair gently, it's just a bit easier to bear.

They're both dead, back in the world. That should balance it out, really, but...it doesn't. It just doesn't.]

You, you're, um, you're under no obligation to tell me anything, about your life. Not if, um, if you don't want to.

[It's something he'd assumed she knew, but perhaps it bore repeating. This seemed to be a night of reassurances, for him and for her.]

But, um...it, it did happen. And...I, I hope you don't mind my saying, Ginia, but you do yourself a, a discourtesy, to try and pretend otherwise.

[Giles has always been a man better at giving advice than taking it.]

I know. [She sags a little in his arms. It was her worst trait, running from things, shoving things down and pretending they didn't happen, putting on a mask for the world.] It's a part of my life as much as anything else. I saw him years later. We talked, we dined, had sex. He asked me the next morning if we ever really had a chance together. I told him no.

[It's horrible telling Giles all of these things. It's breaking all the rules of decency and relationships, but it's on her mind. Because she's dead in her world. He's dead in his. What future could they possibly have?

And yet she wants one. She wants one so badly.]

...Do we have a chance?

[Do they have a chance? Do they even need a chance? They are together, here and now, and they've both said that they don't want that to change.

Part of Giles is wondering what Ginia is asking, and part of him is afraid that he knows just what she's asking. And so, he can only be honest with her.]

I don't know.

After all, um...not to sound impossibly melodramatic, but it really does seem as though the world is conspiring against us, in that regard.

[Giles has always tried never to promise more than he can give. After all, they don't even know if they'll survive the oncoming thorns. They don't know how death works here.

That doesn't mean he doesn't wish he could.]

[Giles is a realistic and honest man. To be expected given his life, and she expected as much. Still, Ginia presses, needing something to hold on to, some sliver of hope for the future - that's there even is a future.]

I know. We are an unlucky pair in some ways, blessed in others. But... I don't know. Would you... Ever want to? Get married?

...very much so.

[If it's a case of asking if he'd want to? A case of setting aside the grim here and now and looking in the general direction of some maybe happy future?

That, Giles can answer without hesitation. They might never have the chance, not without rushing in and making a mess of things and taking their minds off the task at hand.

But if they ever did?]

I would be honored.

[It scares him, just a bit, saying those words, and he finds himself holding Ginia a little more tightly almost for reassurance. But the words only scare him because, up until now, he hadn't leth imself hope.

Now he realizes that they both need that.]

[Even being the one to ask, hearing his response scares Ginia a little. Of course she would marry him, but now that it's out there, now that they both know, it's scary because they could get there. It could be something they could achieve or fail to achieve.

But here and now, they are together. There's hope for the future. Ginia shifts only so she can kiss him. It's been a long time since she's kissed him so, with pure love, devotion, and hope in the tender gesture. She doesn't feel like letting him go either.]

[No matter what the future holds, good or bad...at least they're together again, and they have one another, here and now tonight.

Tomorrow, there's things to be done. There's a business to reorganize, and notes to go over, research to be done and friends to check in on. But that's all tomorrow and tonight, Giles just wants to keep Ginia close and let her know that she's loved, appreciated, and wanted.]

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3rd Orb - 19th of Rebirth's Decline; Evening

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