eswareinmal | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Characters: Loki
Open?: Yes!
Where: Outside Schwanheim
When: 6th of Rebirth's Height
Warnings: Aaaaaaangst.

He hasn't looked into that dread mirror since the return back. Buried it at the bottom of a chest, under the robes he had been given, and swept outside, to the sky and the breeze and the grass. He climbed a hill, and he was too warm, but he savored it. Savored the overheat of his skin, the dry lack of sweat, the burn of thirst in his throat.

He settles down on the grass, under the burning sun, and tries to keep his mind away from anything having to do with ice.

But it returns there, as it always does. He can almost taste the power of the Bifrost, feel the thrum of uncontrollable energies directed by his own hand. He can close his eyes and imagine the terror and chaos as Jotunheimr falls.

He can remember the surge of sick satisfaction -- one backhand, and Thor went flying and he thought this is the end to all my troubles and he didn't watch as his brother bled out into the dirt.

The truth.

The truth is that Loki was never meant to be a hero. He was always meant to be the monster.

Loki buries his face in his folded arms. He is empty enough that he is unsurprised when the tears do not come.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

He'd watched Faolan, idly, his fingers toying with a piece of grass.

In his mind, he saw a spindly colt, staggering, falling. Running. Loki's laughter, leaning one hand on a splintered wooden post as the fence spreads out to the west. Come here, come here and the happy neigh and warm whuff into Loki's neck. My son, son of my flesh and blood.

If nothing else, it distracted him.

He bowed his head and waited, listened to the less-than-subtle whisper and rush of Faolan's movements. And when the boy leaped, he dissolved to smoke, and it was a magpie that fluttered away, hopped just out of reach, twittered in challenge.

Faolan rolled and looked around, startled. Where had Loki gone? He had just been here!

Then his eyes lighted on the magpie and he grinned, recognizing the invitation to come and play even though he wasn't used to getting it from something shaped like that.

He crouched down, wriggling with excitement, and dashed after the bird.

He took to wing again, staying just out of the boy's reach. Looping back, darting up. Loki was ever-so-good at the chase, after all, and these were skills that no one ever truly forgot.

He tweeted sternly and risked a sweep in, mussing Faolan's hair with his wing.

This was a boy who would never be happy with a book and a corner. Faolan chased after Loki gleefully, periodically dropping to his hands to push himself faster.

Magpies were moderately sized birds, but still not worth the trouble to catch and eat. And Faolan always found flying birds to be too hard to catch, so he wasn't overly worried about more than keeping up, even though he would put on a burst of speed if it looked like he was closing in. The attention was more than enough.

And then he felt a wing in his hair and braced himself for a reckless leap, landing and rolling with - he hoped! - Loki cuddled gently to his chest.

Ah, obviously he had ventured too close -- !

But, to his surprise, the boy caught him with gentle hands. His feathers all ruffled out of place, and he gave a wingbeat or two in fruitless attempt to escape, but uninjured.

He gave Faolan an affectionate (and not too hard) peck, on the hand, fluttered, settled.

Faolan beamed at Loki, breath too fast from running for him to do more than give a few yips of pleasure and hug the bird tight.

Hawk had been watching from a bit back, sipping his ever present mug of coffee. Seeing the game had concluded, he drained it with a last gulp, setting it down on a stump before heading down to where his adopted son was, a rare smile on his face.

"Caught something?"

The magpie wriggled free and perched on Faolan's shoulder. Hopped up to his head and fussed with his hair, as though nesting.

He peered at the newcomer through one eye, suspiciously.

"Hawk! Faolan caught!" The boy beamed at his daddy, even as he giggled at Loki's fussing.

Hawk chuckled fondly. "And didn't even hurt it, good job," he smiled, eying the bird for just a moment before patting Faolan on the shoulder, since a hair ruffle was out of the question.

Does he look like a hawk?

Loki hopped down from Faolan's head, to the ground, and spread his wings. He cawed. See this? The polished-black feathers? The pure-white ones? This isn't what hawks look like.

They'd have to have a lesson in bird recognition.

Faolan blinked at Loki's antics, dropping to his belly to sniff at him. He was close enough to almost poke the bird with his nose. "What's wrong?"

Hawk watched with amusement. "Looks like he's showing off."

Loki was none so eager to return to form. To return to anything more approximating the visage of a Frost Giant. So he stretched for his magic, painful-distant though it may be, and transmuted black to brown.

Now he was a hawk.

Faolan pulled back, nose wrinkling, and looked up at Hawk in confusion. Then he looked back at Loki, reaching a wary hand out to touch him.

Hawk nodded slightly at the transformation. "He was referring to me," he returned, still a touch amused, guessing that the not-really-a bird had been offended at the wrong label. "Hawk is my name."

Loki considered this, for a moment, and then accepted the explanation. The feathers flitted and shifted and settled back into the black-and-white form. And the bird relaxed, as though holding the other had been a strain. He nodded, primly.

That was all? Faolan reached out more surely, wanting to cuddle the bird and reassure him. Especially since he had been unhappy before.

"So I take it you're not normally a bird, huh?" Hawk asked idly, shifting to sit Indian style on the ground to watch.

Loki folded his wings and relented to the petting. Perhaps even hopped a little closer to Faolan, though still with a beady on Hawk.

He couldn't really nod or shake his head to that one.

Faolan pet him carefully, smiling again because Loki was responsive and moving closer. He flopped on his belly, and turned to Hawk.

"Loki looks human."

"Human, huh? Gotta be careful around those," Hawk commented idly, watching the play time with a bit of a fond look, rather glad Faolan had found someone to play with.

Looks human being the key word there. He wasn't. He never would be.

Loki fluttered up and landed on Faolan's back. Pecked at him, around his ribs.

He might be looking for ticklish spots.

Faolan looked up at Hawk. "Said looks human, not is human."

He twisted his head around, trying to see Loki without knocking him off. This didn't work so well, as he automatically rolled when tickled, giggled exploding out of him.

"Those are just as bad," Hawk returned dryly, but he still smiled just a bit at the display below.