[There's no way to answer the question without possibly hurting Giles in some slight way. She knows it must be as difficult for him to hear about the seemingly perfect life she had with another man, a life that could have been and almost was.
However, the key fact was it wasn't and never would be.]
I was. I was very happy and I enjoyed his company very much, and yes, I suppose even I couldn't resist his charm and romancing. When he proposed, I said yes.
But as we began planning and discussing things, I realized I didn't really love him. He was a wonderful man, one of the best I've ever known, but I never shake the feeling I was some... prize or treasure placed on a pedestal. Before we began dating, there were a few times I'd walk into a bar or a club not knowing he was there. I've seen him chatting up a woman and charming her completely, then dropped her immediately if he saw me. He put me in front of everyone else, he admitted that much himself. He would have given me the world if I asked for it.
But I could never stop thinking about the other women and wonder if I would ever be in that position. If some other person was to catch his attention. He put me on a pedestal of perfection and I was afraid of disappointing him.
And maybe in the end, I loved the idea of him. Romantic, carefree, an exquisite lover, I loved all of that, but I didn't love him. So I returned the ring and said goodbye.
[Ginia closes her eyes again and sighs heavily, trying to banish Nicholas' face from her memory, the stunned hurt when she gave back his ring and told him goodbye. When she opens them again, she looks at Giles, memorizing his face. Her expression cracks, but before it can crumble completely, she throws her arms around him and hugs him fiercely.]
...I'm telling you because I love you. Because I want to be with you. I want a man who I can be on equal footing with, someone I can trust completely, who knows me in and out, who loves me for me, flaws and all.
Nichols was always ready to catch me if I fell and carry me off to safety. You catch me and put me back on my feet.
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However, the key fact was it wasn't and never would be.]
I was. I was very happy and I enjoyed his company very much, and yes, I suppose even I couldn't resist his charm and romancing. When he proposed, I said yes.
But as we began planning and discussing things, I realized I didn't really love him. He was a wonderful man, one of the best I've ever known, but I never shake the feeling I was some... prize or treasure placed on a pedestal. Before we began dating, there were a few times I'd walk into a bar or a club not knowing he was there. I've seen him chatting up a woman and charming her completely, then dropped her immediately if he saw me. He put me in front of everyone else, he admitted that much himself. He would have given me the world if I asked for it.
But I could never stop thinking about the other women and wonder if I would ever be in that position. If some other person was to catch his attention. He put me on a pedestal of perfection and I was afraid of disappointing him.
And maybe in the end, I loved the idea of him. Romantic, carefree, an exquisite lover, I loved all of that, but I didn't love him. So I returned the ring and said goodbye.
[Ginia closes her eyes again and sighs heavily, trying to banish Nicholas' face from her memory, the stunned hurt when she gave back his ring and told him goodbye. When she opens them again, she looks at Giles, memorizing his face. Her expression cracks, but before it can crumble completely, she throws her arms around him and hugs him fiercely.]
...I'm telling you because I love you. Because I want to be with you. I want a man who I can be on equal footing with, someone I can trust completely, who knows me in and out, who loves me for me, flaws and all.
Nichols was always ready to catch me if I fell and carry me off to safety. You catch me and put me back on my feet.